QUESTION: Priest, kindly help us with a well detailed write up this “husband of one wife” verse…I think in Timothy there is another one. Do a write up please
Lwela
RESPONSE: The topics of polygamy and monogamy are still being debated. The debate rages across all cultures, customs, legal organisations, and religious institutions, with the central question being what is the appropriate number of wives for a man to marry in order to be legally and religiously recognised.
Different religions’ religious books have differing perspectives on the subject. Some limit the number to one, while others allow for unlimited numbers. The Mormon church has set the limit at roughly 28, and the Quran advises its believers not to exceed four.
The Bible is silent on the number until we get to the New Testament, where three verses in two books emphasise Aner Mia Gune (Greek for: Husband of one wife): Titus 1:6 and 1Timothy 3:2,12. But first, here’s what you need to know:
THE OLD TESTAMENT
God reveals himself to individuals (individual and corporate) with established cultures in the Old Testament, and the revelation of God is only interested in cultural norms and practises that contradict his goals, leaving non-contradictory cultural practices and beliefs unaffected.
Marriage is one of those topics that appear to have nothing to do with God’s revelation, and it appears that the divine order on the subject is concerned with homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22), bestiality (Leviticus 18:23), paedophilia, incest (Leviticus 18:6-17), adultery, promiscuity, and rape (Deuteronomy 22:20-chapter 24:7), but not with the number of marital partners one has.
Because Judaism is a patriarchal society, polyandry (a woman being married to more than one man) rather than polygamy (a man marrying more than one woman) is frowned upon. To me, it’s wrong to confine the marriage argument to two systems: monogamy and polygamy and to exclude Polyandry, in which a woman, as a whole human being equal to a man, can express her preferences.
Polygamy should be permitted where monogamy exists, and polyandry should be permitted when polygamy exists. A marriage system that benefits specific persons and groups should be allowed to flourish based on the quality of life it provides. It is unjust and unfair to include God in the manner of punishment and reward based on one’s marital status and number of spouses.
Apart from an instructive pair, Adam and Eve (not historical figures), all other males in the Old Testament, such as Lameck, Abraham, Jacob, and others, married many wives and had concubines.
The Old Testament marriage restrictions are based not on NUMBERS but on RACE (Ezra chapters 9-10, 13), RELATIONS (incest = Leviticus 18:6-17 and not marrying biological sisters like Jacob did (Leviticus 18:18).
While this is true, the Bible mentions men like Isaac marrying only one wife, implying that both monogamy and polygamy are relative approaches to marriage dependent on one’s preferences, capacity, familial continuity, and the safety of the woman in such a marriage (Deuteronomy 25:5-6, Mark 12:23-31).
As a result, the Old Testament cannot be used to support polygamy because all allusions to polygamous marriages are cultural. We should strive to keep the thin line between Judaism and faith in God solid and learn to distinguish between when culture speaks in the name of God (what it says concerns those people in those cultures and times) and when it is God’s ordination (what he ordains concerns all humanity wherever they are).
The Old Testament cannot be used to invalidate monogamy because people married to single partners existed in the same culture.
NEW TESTAMENT
In Jesus’ day and throughout his documented teachings, the number of individuals one is married to is never mentioned. His interest is for persons getting married, and he is willing to assist financially to a marriage’s success (John 2:2-11). He uses marriage as a metaphor to show that, despite not being married during his 33 years here, he believed in marriage. What we don’t know is that as a Rabbi, he opposed polygamy and argued for monogamy, as well as the cultural wife inheritance by a brother (Mark 12:23-31).
Although Palestine and the Greco-Roman civilization in which Jesus lived were predominantly polygamous (not that monogamous communities didn’t exist), if the NUMBER was as important as promiscuity and adultery, he should have mentioned it as well (Mathew 5:27-28).
He was more concerned with the GENDER than the NUMBER when it came to the issue of divorce… He responded, “Have you not read that he who created them made them male and female from the beginning?” Clearly, he corrected the marital issue to be solely a heterosexual business and nothing else. The rest can be discussed as long as it is heterosexual.
Following the divorce argument, Jesus clarified that marriage is not for everyone (Matthew 19:11-12 – NKJV):
11 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: 12 For there are [a]eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”
THE 3 TYPES EUNUCHS
The necessity of marriage is demonstrated in this discourse by God himself in Mathew 19:11-12, which comes at the end of the divorce discussion. Marriage is a social enterprise, not a spiritual degree. Because our anthropological frameworks have influenced our psychology, you are not a better Christian because you are married. Marriage is something you can do if you want to. Marriage is something you can:
- be born unable to function (Born Eunuchs= persons suffering from incurable impotence),
- Be a victim of circumstances, such as an accident or a decree based on your social status (Palace Eunuchs= castrated slaves to the Royal families’ wives and daughters= Acts 8:27).
- Professional Eunuchs are those who have opted not to marry in order to avoid having their careers disrupted by marriage life (Professional Eunuchs= people who have chosen not to marry owing of their missions). The Catholic Church ordered priests and sisters to remain celibate, and Paul reminded those in the profession of marriage’s burden =1Corinthians 7:25-34).
We can all see the importance and significance of marriage from these three eunuchs, and when it comes to where Paul mentions the:
ARNE MIA GUNE (HUSBAND OF ONE WIFE )
The apostle Paul addresses leaders who are marriage material in 1Timothy 3:2,12 and Titus 1:6. We must comprehend Paul in context because 1&2 Timothy and Titus are pastoral epistles (letters not written to the collective body of believers, individual sinners, or persons with concerns, but to specific professionals in their capacity as pastors and leaders).
Apostle Paul advises these leaders who are not eunuchs like him to make sure that one wife has enough baggage to give what they have on their table.
It is a hermeneutical (Bible interpretation and application) absurdity to use 1Timothy 3:2,12 and Titus 1:6 to defend public monogamy.
IN CONCLUSION
My job isn’t to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. My job is to inform you and then let you make the decisions that are right for you. Whether you are monogamous or polygamous, the fact remains that we are saved solely by grace through faith in Jesus, not by the number of wives or husbands we have.
You’ve been reminded of your responsibilities and are familiar with your financial situation. You, more than anybody else, understand your emotional environment and how many people you can emotionally accommodate as spouses. Unlike Jewish tradition, God will not urge you to divorce your other spouses simply because you believe in Christ, because your faith in Christ is concerned with how official that marriage is, not how many are official.
Leaders are expected to be too busy to have more than one spouse; if they aren’t, then let them get busy with something else as long as the marriages are legal.
Polygamy should not be considered sinful by monogamists, and polyandry should not be considered sinful by polygamists.
God bless you, I invoke TRUTH, WISDOM and FAITH (2Tim 2:7)
Priest Isaiah White (+256775822833)
iTiS Well of Worship Fellowship (John 2:24)
Questioning to Believe, Believing to Live
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