This May in our free monthly NEWSPAPER (GOOD NEWSPAPER), we are running a lead story about marriage and divorce. The conclusion is that marriage is permanent and there shouldn’t be room for divorce, not even Adultery.
Well, pick yourself a copy and form a position as well as God inspires all of us.
Don’t normalize the abnormal
Though I believe in divorce, the reasons must be beyond forgiveness. Not just anything. I am not sure LEGALITY can resolve LOVE and neither do I believe LOVE is LEGAL.
Again, for the rich couples like that of Bill and Melinda Gates and given their world (culture), it looks like to them, divorce is equal to marriage and in a legitimate manner.
It is absurd if we Christians start normalizing divorce and stop treating it as horrible as it is. Divorce is evil, bad and wrong. I don’t care whether we have a law that grants it, as long as the reasons for it are forgivable it is abnormal and we shouldn’t normalize it. Love is the only unforgivable sin I know.
Who we are vs What we do or have
This rich couple also teaches us that while wealth contributes to your staying together, it also equally contributes to your break up.
In other words, money in a marriage is as important as it is useless. What matters in a marriage is not what we HAVE or HAVE NOT but WHO WE ARE not just to OURSELVES (though that is where we should begin) but also to EACH OTHER.
Married people must understand that just because physical and psychological features we admire and the very features that attracted us to each other expire does not mean that our love to the individual expire as well.
From Enjoyment to Living Together
Married people must understand that marriage grows from ENJOYING EACH OTHER to the level of LIVING TOGETHER. Now at the marriage stage of enjoying each other is where many marriages thrive for even 30yrs, but it outgrows that and love towards each other as individuals is proved at the stage of living with each other.
If you can stay married to them at the level of living together then you LOVED that person not WHAT THEY DID.
Marriage has got only one destroyer and that is LOVE (the lack of it or the wrongness of it), the rest like adultery, disease, poverty, wealth, etc are but curable and bearable challenges.
I know right now some of you reading this are admiring Bill and Melinda and some are grieving while others have taken advantage of this couple’s decision to strengthen your relationship while others are breaking it as well. But Divorce (leave alone Separation) is a symptom of our long-held attitude towards what we have been participating in.
Marriage the attacked Seed
When your friends divorce we tend to resolve to work harder for our marriage to survive the attack. But here is the thing, first of all, marriage is a divine institution and by that I don’t mean God has wedded anyone, but rather that marriage is the nucleus seed of family, family makes communities and communities make countries. The Divinity of marriage is in it being the seed from which we harvest a nation.
The enemy, therefore, doesn’t attack enemy at its plantation nor at its growth as he attacks it at its seed level. Our marriages die as seeds before we even plant them. The enemy in the form of birds, eats these seeds and some are damaged and by the time we plant them, plants come out deformed.
I don’t know whether we can correct the seeds at the level of plants, but I know henceforth we can have better seeds for a better next generation.
Preparing the Seeds for the next Season
We can teach our children the sacredness of the institution of Marriage. We can teach them that love supersedes the law. Just because you are legally marriage does not mean you cannot be legally separated.
We can teach them how to distinguish loving something about someone and loving them as individuals stripped of those qualities and tell them to marry people not what they have or even do for all these expire. We can teach them patience and the art of focusing on walking parallel but along side each other as opposed to focusing on each other expecting results.
Marriage is about Differences not Sameness
We can protect marriage, we can remind these young people that marriage is not about SAMENESS but it thrives on DIFFERENCE. A woman cannot marry another woman that is SAMENESS and a man cannot marry another man, that is SAMENESS. Marriage is exclusively between different sexes. We have to further remind the married different sex to avoid SAMENESS in believing that you always have to be on the same page and decide in unison and act in choruses. Agreeing to Disagree and support and defend the same is the highest point of individuals who have appreciated DIFFERENCE.
Every person who believes in Creation and in Redemption must understand that we Christians (not religious people) worship a God of difference not of sameness. Look at creation and tell me what looks like each other if it is not its kind (Genesis 1). Please understand that women won’t think like men and dear women don’t make men think like women. You did not marry your fellow women.
At the point Bill and Melinda realized they were no longer on the same page, can I type that again? ‘SAME PAGE’ was the very time they ought to have realized that their marriage has cured from SAMENESS and now into DIFFERENCE where proper marriages belong.
Don’t break your marriage because you DON’T AGREE and are not on the SAME PAGE. Let it go because you don’t love the individual (as an individual). Love is the only condition for divorce the rest are mere symptoms and human selfish excuses.
God bless you, I invoke Truth, Wisdom and Faith
Priest M.I.T White (+256 775822833)
iTiS Well of Worship Fellowship (John 4:24)
Questioning to Believe, Believing to Live
iTiS Well of Worship Fellowship (John 4:24) 