We live in interesting times, where sex is a commodity and sex is one of the first three biggest enterprises in the world. Human beings are sexual beings, and the fashion and style industry designs clothes in line with the psychology of sex. The world, through its august institutions like the Church and Government, has gazetted sex for the marrieds, and I would like to commend the institution of marriage for it has served a great purpose in the lives of many and to our communities as well.
However, with all the success that marriage has secured; it has not gone without injuries and one of the greatest blows to marriage is cheating. Marrieds (husbands and wives; largely husbands) cheat and this article points out 7 of perhaps the many public and private reasons as to why people cheat.
The points I am about to share are not necessarily the right reasons for each individual from various backgrounds but they are general reasons common to many from various settings. Before I share these points, allow me to first point out the beauty of sex.
The Beauty of Sex
The first thing to know is that sex is a beautiful thing and a necessity to those who physiologically and psychologically are fit for it. The marital bed is one of the things the Bible reminds all of us to honour (Hebrews 13:4). Sex is therefore good and we see this implied in Genesis 2:25 when the Bible says: “both were naked and not ashamed”.
The beauty of sex has been affected by the shame brought by Sin and the fall of man. In the Book of Proverbs, the wise father instructs his son to “rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love”. (Proverbs 5:18-19).
Another thing the word of God says about sex and its necessity is in the first epistles to the Corinthians 7:3-5. First, conjugal is not an offer but a right to a husband as well as to the wife. To deny it any of the two is wrong (7:3-4). Secondly, sex in a marital setting ought to be hard often (7:5) and how often can only be determined by the spouses themselves. From this, we deduce that sex is good and a necessity to the fit for the same. Let us now turn to:
The Reasons we cheat:
1. SIN:
As a theologian and a pastor, Sin is one of the general answers we give to many complex moral and mystical questions of life. I begin with this same answer and argue that SIN is the reason behind spouses cheating on others. We are fallen (Romans 3:8-12) and we are not sinners after we act but in us dwells a negative power known as Sin that rides and drives us into unlikely acts that are actually against our wish and will sometimes (Romans 7:15-24).
The Sin that leads us into fornication, adultery and all sorts of promiscuity is not a sin we need to repent but rather a power that can only be contended by the power of God himself. It is a sin we can only be delivered from and not a moral failure we can be trained to fix and manage. You can repent fornication, adultery, pornography, etc. and God will forgive you, but that will turn into an unending pattern (sin-repent and be forgiven) between you and God.
What you need is to invoke God and let him fight that power in you known as Sin that causes you to cheat or be sexually unfaithful (Jeremiah 17:1,9-10). God forgives your sinning and sins but God fights Sin. We need God to overpower the sin that has overpowered us. Under this reason, we must understand that we cheaters are individuals who are overpowered.
2. HOSPITALITY:
Human beings are reciprocal in nature. While it is not always the case, relating with human beings looks like it is patterned on the principle of INPUT determines OUTPUT. How you treat your spouse has a contribution on how faithful they will be. Am not here to teach anyone how to treat their spouse for that would be a self-deception but rather am here to remind all of us that domestic abuse (both Physical and Psychological) is one of the reasons people end up in unlikely sexual situations.
The quality of hospitality we render to our loved ones is a reference that is always consulted by our spouses whenever the temptation to cheat shows-up. It is embarrassing for spouses to treat bosses and clients at work with grace, love, and respect and then return home to treat their spouses like slaves. The word of God is not prescriptive (telling how to do) but rather it is descriptive (tells us what to do); for this case, the word of God says, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Submission to each other is the foundation of proper hospitality in an intimate relationship.
A man renders submissive hospitality to his wife by loving and caring for her and a wife renders hospitality to her husband by being submissive to him (Ephesians 5:22-25, 28). Many men will cheat if they are married to a disrespectful woman that treats them with impunity and many women might fall for the love and care that is not exhibited by their husbands. How we treat people communicates how much we need them. Treat your spouse with respect, don’t take them for granted. While with him or her, act as if your life depends on theirs, after-all, it largely does. None of us is comfortable marrying an individual whose gestures to us communicate that they can live well and do better without us. Under this reason, we conclude that cheaters are victims of abuse.
God bless you I invoke TRUTH, WISDOM, and FAITH (2Tim 2:7)
Priest Isaiah White (+256-793/775 822833 for further inquiries)
iTiS Well of Worship Fellowship (John 4:24)
iTiS Well of Worship Fellowship (John 4:24) 
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