Intimate relationships are about the quality of one’s ‘three loves.’ These three loves were taught by God himself in Mathew 22:36-39. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Here are the 3 Loves in the text: 1. Love to God, 2. Love to self and 3. Love to another (Mathew 22:36-39).
Love to God:
Relationships begin from the point of what one worships. The quality of the gods they are in love with. What is the individual spiritually in love with, is their god pro-love or not?
A Christian in a love relationship with God is one who has firsthand experienced the love of God upon their lives and has attempted reciprocating it, will feel differently about themselves. The first step is to identify our vertical relationships.
If you are in unrequited love, find out the god of those people and how they relate.
With the right God worshipped, individuals will not give an impression for they know their God looks at the heart condition and whatever they do is to please their loved one through their relationship with God. (1Samuel 16:7, 1Thessalonians 2:4).
The worship of the right God helps your spouse not do things in pursuit of public approval (Galatians 1:10, 1Thessalonians 2:6)
Love to Self:
This is a product of love to God; you can only discover and appreciate your ‘self’ in God. No one gives what they don’t have. Some people are not in love with themselves in the first-place.
Before we accuse them of not reciprocating our love, have we found out how much they love themselves.
It is possible that an individual you are in a relationship with has either too much love for the ‘self’ (selfish) or no love at all to the ‘self’ (selfless) and wonders why you are this obsessed to what they don’t love.
People who still have personal issues to deal with and those who struggle with themselves will find it hard to reciprocate love.
We occasionally fall in love with people to whom self-appreciation is an issue.
The first rule I learnt in philosophy was ‘KNOW THYSELF’, the second principle I learnt in theology was ‘LOVE THYSELF’. You know thyself when you distance it from negative energy, and you love thyself when you don’t subject it to its abusers.
A person who doesn’t appreciate who you are and wants to change you before they love you is an identity consumer.
Don’t let people make you think God created a substandard you. You need no identity shift, you need to love this self and attract others through how much you love it.
Invest in yourself enough to the extent of sharing the much love you have to the neighbor that deserves it.
Love to Neighbor:
The third love can only be a product of the second love. We don’t love others because God loved us or told us to do so, we love those we love and can only love them in relation to the way we love ourselves.
In an intimate relationship, the individual who does not reciprocate love is the culprit of either ‘selfish’ or ‘selfless’ love. To love your partner is a demonstration of how much you love your ‘self’. Love to your spouse is an overflow of the self-love.
To insist on loving such a person is to hurt both of you. It is an abuse of your identity, it is also blasphemy to the God who created the original you.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made, says Psalm 139:14. You as an individual were created in the image of God, you are an original, you deserve first-class treatment (Genesis 1:26–27).
God bless you I invoke TRUTH, REASON, and FAITH (2Tim 2:7)
Priest Isaiah White
iTiS Well of Worship Fellowship (John 4:24)
@Think & Become
iTiS Well of Worship Fellowship (John 4:24) 